"think having a partner who has explored their sexuality is definitely a good thing! Funny thing is, I'm sure my ex did too on some level, and don't think he'd actually be happy with someone with a significantly more conservative attitude towards sex!"

It's often this cognitive dissonance which makes RJ such a problem. It really is all about acceptance, which is difficult to reach when you have conflicting beliefs. I honestly don't think values has much at all to do with RJ, and in fact can be a major obstacle to overcoming it, so I baulk at the mention of anyone who suggests their RJ is due to their "values". Best of luck with whatever happens. Whatever the result, it will be what's best for both of you.