Hi Raan,

It's your reaction / wanting to avoid or control the thoughts which are feeding your RJ.

My advice? Don't ignore the thoughts but don't react to them in any way either – just observe. You need to become a spectator of the thoughts. After a while, they'll bother you much less, and, eventually, you won't get any intrusive thoughts.

Your brain thinks it's doing you a favour by giving you these thoughts. By responding to them, you're conditioning your brain into thinking these thoughts are important because you're spending so much time and energy ruminating on them or having visceral reactions to the thoughts by "pushing" them away. The paradox is that by "pushing" them away, you actually feed them and prolong the cycle.

This video on intrusive thoughts explains it well:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laeYq51SYA0&t=114s&ab_channel=MarkFreeman

You're not really just learning to observe 'thoughts' – you're learning to observe all your feelings, emotions, sensations and any other stuff in your head which you don't like or judge as 'bad'.

If the thoughts are there let them be there and continue performing actions that align with your values (it can help if you write down things that you value). You can observe any uncomfortable feelings which may arise from your thoughts without labelling them or judging them as bad.

Have you ever heard of the 'cloud in the sky' analogy? You wouldn't put all your attention and energy into avoiding clouds or judging them as bad so why do the same thing with thoughts? You can learn to watch your thoughts in the same way as you can watch clouds in the sky. Just be aware of anything you're doing to try to cope with, check on or 'control' your thoughts – these behaviours only make them worse. (Think the three C's!)

If you can find a skilled therapist to help you, they can help you significantly with your recovery.

Michael