Hi Brad,

Interesting to hear about the ketamine therapy, would be keen to hear how that works out for you. I'm aware that ketamine is not a "conventional" psychedelic as it's a dissociative, so the effects are somewhat different. I can only speak for 'shrooms, which are considered a more "learning-based" serotonergic psychedelic. But if you're doing this with a licensed doctor, then that sounds very, very promising.

Yes, highly recommend the book(s) of Mark Freeman and his YouTube channel/website as well. It's not about "RJ" per se, but the methods he uses and what he teaches are all applicable. Notably, working with "ACT" therapy techniques.

On your religion, beware of "spiritual bypassing". This was something I struggled with. While "grace" might be the thing that helps you in the end, you still need to do the work to earn that grace. You will have to make a resolution to recover, which you have done with your excellent research so far. The rest is up to grace.

As a side note (but this is jut my opinion so feel totally free to disregard this) your beliefs about your religion, particularly "sin", may be an obstacle that you really need to let go of. By all means keep your faith, but you may want to explore what beliefs (conscious or unconscious) you have which could be preventing you from fully accepting this situation.

It sounds like you are getting the help you need. I'd encourage you to check out Mark's work, but beyond that, try to trust in your therapist (and God if that helps) that they will help you get over this if you're willing to let them. And, as difficult as it is, try to let go of controlling the outcome. You have all the help you need.